my little waste of space

Month

August 2012

1 post

smoking

so… im trying to quit smoking…. i think its going rather well

ive been smoking for 7 years. ive been smoking menthol, almost nothing but menthol. so not only am i struggling to deal with the mental “jonesing”  - but my lungs are trying to heal all of the abrasions and it itches like hell. 

so far, the only changes ive noticed are:

1) its a hell of a lot easier to piss me off, get me fired up about nearly anything. ive had a lot of problems with my temper in the past, and i get the feeling its going to be harder to keep my anger in check

2) im getting fatter… last time i was weighed i was over 300lbs. ive been eating a lot more. i can see more of my legs when i walk, so i actually feel like im losing weight, but im being told that i look like ive been gaining a lot of weight. my best friend, chels, warned me that my weight would definitely go up through the roof. that was based on her experience with her fiancee; i guess he ballooned up.

3) its even harder to focus on shit. i was diagnosed with ADD at a very young age. at the time, my mother thought it was something that i could learn to deal with, as opposed to living the rest of my life taking pills. so - my ADD has never been medicated. 

i know it can be done as i know many people that have quit. mark my words - my name will be added to the list…

more later

Aug 24, 20121 note

July 2012

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June 2012

23 posts

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okay, lets talk.

my mother was baptised as a mormon. i have yet to be baptised.

one of the main problems with this world is religion. from what i have seen with my own two eyes, nearly every denomination believes that if each member does not convert people to their own beliefs, that particular member will go to a “hell” of some sort. 

we see this in movies - usually its the villain trying to raise an army for - who knows what.

there are good things and bad things, when it comes to religion. the belief in a much bigger picture, for example, i think is a good thing. i am a human being, on what we call a planet. i live in one of many homes, in one of many cities, in one of many states, in one of many countries, on one of many continents, on one of many planets - in one of many solar systems, so on and so forth. science has proven that i maybe smaller than an atom, in the grand scheme of things. 

we can see this. its nothing new. 

however - nearly every denomination also believes that if we, as people in general - that “the indifference of good men” is a very powerful evil. so basically - if i see someone about to kill someone else, and do nothing to stop the murder, then i am far worse than the person that committed the crime. solely because i did nothing. 

this belief must have been created by man. i refuse to accept any other explanation.

take a look at the animal kingdom. animals kill daily for various reasons. territory, defense, food, and more. i have yet to see a wolf stop another wolf from eating a chicken, only to explain that killing chickens is bad, and all wolves should eat plants. this is not an attack on vegans.

this is an attack on humanity.

we hear about killings, dictators, rebellions, etc - all over the globe, every day. we take that, and add to it the belief that if we do nothing to stop it, we may as well be responsible for every drop of blood spilled. congratulations - in your mind, you have just created “war”

we dont kill the antelope attacking the lion for eating its young - we let the animals handle their own business. some will argue with me on this, because lions and antelope are different creatures, and we are all human.

to those people - we, as a race, have created different creatures. i am an american. the people from mexico are mexicans. syria, syrians. i can do this all day. the fact remains that at least two people disagree, and it has escalated to spilling the blood of the innocent.

unfortunately, i support this. we’ve all seen movies where someone builds an army, and some one else disagrees. there will always be arguments both for and against everything. however, the movies fail to project the gravity of the realities.

we can make all the movies we want about saddam, hitler, bin laden - so on and so forth, but we dont see what the soldiers see. we may have seen pictures, and heard stories - but the vast majority of us didnt lay, tied down in a bed somewhere in germany - and watch as our friends, our neighbors, etc were injected with God knows what, tortured, experimented on, etc. we werent there.

and i’ll bet that almost any one of us - had we been there and able to do so - would have put a bullet in the “dr” that was performing “the operation”.

this brings me to my point - “the indifference of good men” is vital to our existence. as much as i would love to do what “Anonymous” does in real life - the less we see, the less we do. 

and with 7 billion people on this planet, thats about 14 billion eyes that are going to need to see a hell of a lot of blood. and with 7 billion people - we sure do have a hell of a lot of blood.

and i very firmly believe that sometime, somewhere, amongst all the blood, the dead piled to the skies, the hate-filled brains - there will be a man (or a woman) - that will have his/her eyes wide open - and see that there are some drastic changes that need to be made, and, like the last guy, we as a race, will probably take this one - make certain that his/her blood will not be on our hands while seeing to it that he/she takes the worst, most inhumane, life-taking punishment that we will have at the time… last time it was crucifixion. i dont want to imagine what it could be next time.

the stories of that person will live on. people hearing these stories will come in to power, and these cycles will be repeated.

“lesson repeated until lesson learned”

i dont know if there is a God, Devil, so on and so forth - maybe i’ll find out as i lay in a pine box somewhere. 

but i do know that it took getting burned to learn about heat.

yes, its all very unfortunate. no one wants to lose their friends and loved ones in battles and struggles they may not even believe in.

yet, here we are - its almost like we’re studying for a test, and the survival of the human race depends on it.

Jun 21, 2012
#life #Jesus #Anonymous #Devil #battle #war #death #hate #the indifference of good men #the human race #animals #humanity #701
dubstep: a mockumentary.

all music has its origins. gospel comes from heaven. metal, from hell. and im ok with that. today i would like to talk about dubstep.

remember when you had that job at that fast food joint? to prepare for the next rush, you were told to prepare a bunch of food, so that other people could grab it, and go - decreasing the “wait time” for the customer and making your boss look better. 

what happened if nobody bought what you made? an hour before your boss said it was too bad to sell, it had turned. wanting you to think he’s a nice guy, your boss offers it to you for free. being the smart little youngster you were, you wanted to live, and threw it out….

maybe you worked at one of the “bigger-named” joints that had a lot of problems with theft - and you had to pour bleach all over the trash - so the hobos couldnt eat it, get sick, sue the company - and then you can no longer support all your babies-mommas…

not all places are quite as thorough, unfortunately… for example - record companies. they dont worry too much about hobos eating broken tapes, cd’s, flash drives - anything that can store media (in this case, audio).

so - when a recording label takes some samples from “the next tiesto” and wants to hang himself by the end of the track - he naturally takes the disc straight to the trash - shattering it on the way.

then we meet out dubstep creator. this low-life hippie/hobo - who wears/eats/drinks/smokes/shits/farts things that “we’ve probably never heard of” was thrown out of his parents house for being a douchebag. 

he lives in the abandoned warehouse down the street, with his alien-ware laptop, munching his clorox-burgers, sipping his “frochaccinatte” wishing that whipped cream and sprinkles had never become so mainstream so that he 

he scavenges the deepest dredges of every dumpster he can find. 

Jun 15, 2012
dubstep: a mockumentary.

all music has its origins. gospel comes from heaven. metal, from hell. and im ok with that. today i would like to talk about dubstep.

remember when you had that job at that fast food joint? to prepare for the next rush, you were told to prepare a bunch of food, so that other people could grab it, and go - decreasing the “wait time” for the customer and making your boss look better. 

what happened if nobody bought what you made? an hour before your boss said it was too bad to sell, it had turned. wanting you to think he’s a nice guy, your boss offers it to you for free. being the smart little youngster you were, you wanted to live, and threw it out….

maybe you worked at one of the “bigger-named” joints that had a lot of problems with theft - and you had to pour bleach all over the trash - so the hobos couldnt eat it, get sick, sue the company - and then you can no longer support all your babies-mommas…

not all places are quite as thorough, unfortunately… for example - record companies. they dont worry too much about hobos eating broken tapes, cd’s, flash drives - anything that can store media (in this case, audio).

so - when a recording label takes some samples from “the next tiesto” and wants to hang himself by the end of the track - he naturally takes the disc straight to the trash - shattering it on the way.

then we meet out dubstep creator. this low-life hippie/hobo - who wears/eats/drinks/smokes/shits/farts things that “we’ve probably never heard of” was thrown out of his parents house for being a douchebag. 

he lives in the abandoned warehouse down the street, with his alien-ware laptop, munching his clorox-burgers, sipping his “frochaccinatte” wishing that whipped cream and sprinkles had never become so mainstream so that he could have them.

he scavenges the deepest dredges of every dumpster he can find. 

once in a while - he finds a case of PBR that someone with real taste in beer throws out. mostly - just trash.

on the rarest of the rare occasions - he will find “the next tiesto”s mixtape, still shattered - along with the hundreds of other shattered tape, cd’s, flash drives, etc. he takes it “home.” he takes all of the auditory shit, and melts it together, forming one giant ball of molten waste. he then runs it through a press, making many cd’s.  at this point - he may not even listen to what he has created - he simply uploads the contents of the discs to wherever isnt too popular.

we have now witnessed the birth of dubstep.

Jun 15, 2012
#dubstep #documentary #satire #fast food #music origins
Jun 15, 2012952 notes
Jun 14, 2012
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